Very VERY late Review: Batman: Arkham Asylum

.... YES. This game is literally the best 3rd person game I have ever played. Not just because I am a bat nerd, because it is so incredibly awesome and epic, it plays with your mind and is a thinking game and a hardcore fighting game at the same time.

GRAPHICS: The graphics are very good, they are no GTA 4 graphics, but they still look great, and they are nothing you would usually expect from a batman game.

CONTROLS: The controls/freeflow combat system is great, and the best I have ever seen, but there are some complaints that I have that will be in the CRITICISM section.

STORYLINE: the storyline is very good, and the thing is, you beat the game, because you want to see what happens, as well as to have fun. that is how good the storyline is, it is motion picture material, and in a way, it kind of ties in with Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight, except for the fact that the police still like batman.

RIDDLER RIDDLES: these are VERY hard. the only way I was able to get 55% was with the help of the riddler maps. I will get them after I beat the game, but still.

BOSS FIGHTS: The boss fights are my major complaint for this game. the only really fun boss fight was the bane boss fight, and that is just because the whole dodging the giant guy running after you, while throwing a batarang at him and making him crash into a wall thing was new to me. other than that, the bosses were just... kill the henchmen, and throw a batarang or bat claw the boss down. very boring.

ENDING: now not to spoil anything, but the end boss was, like i said, not that fun, but I will have to say, the ending cutscene was AWESOME.

SUMMARY OF CRITICISM: 1: the camera was annoying at first (then it became cool) 2. The boss fights are not fun (maybe because I have been playing too much alien hominid) 3. press a to run? really? I think it should be move the joystick halfway to walk, and full to run... and a could be jump or something, so you could do jump kicks or something.

SUMMARY (OVERALL): Batman Arkham Asylum is amazing. it has its flaws, but no game is perfect, and Arkham Asylum is probably the closest a game is going to get to perfect. this game gets 5 batarangs

out of 5. Hes a silent protector... a dark knight.

Late Review (sorry): Saints Row 2

Alright, I do have to admit I have not played saints row 1, and just heard of saints row when 2 came out. I heard it was better than GTA IV, so I decided to get it instead of GTA IV. (I might get GTA IV eventually so I can review that) and I must say I am pretty impressed. I like how you can customize your character, and customize almost everything else so the possibilities are endless with your character. I made my guy a muscular white guy with long straight hair and a black shirt with a chainsaw on it. (I am still messing around with his appearance) And I beat the game in about a week, maybe less. (I cherished it) On the medium difficulty level, I found it easy to kill things, and could aim for head shots easily. The controls are awkward until you change the driving settings to default GTA and driving game settings (like I did) but you will eventually get used to it.

Campaign: I did not really care for the story line, considering that it was the exact same story line as san andreas, so I just decided to not care and be "screw it I want to just kill things". The activities were very fun, and I am still trying to get 100 complete to this day, and go on a few rampages on the way. The game is pretty mindless, which is good for some people and bad for a few, and I just thought that it seemed to fit the purpose of this game. Does a game where you kill everyone sound very logical? I do not think so. The radio stations were funny, the cutscenes were funny, and I especially enjoyed killing Neil Patrick Harris. There are just really little features in this game that entertain me, like car surfing, streaking, flashing, and also co op, which we will talk about more in "multiplayer."

Graphics: Alright, lets just get down to the point. The graphics suck. Do not get this game if you think graphics are a key feature, because you will be disappointed. GTA IV vomits on SR2 for that feature.

Multiplayer: I really never like multiplayer for any 3rd person shooters, because it always ends up being "grenade wars" or "someone getting the most powerful weapon in the game, hiding somewhere, waiting for people to come by and shoot them once and kill them". Also there is this thing with the co op that I hate. I hate cheating in games, and SR2 SHOULD TELL ME BEFORE I LET SOMEONE INTO MY GAME IF THEY ARE CHEATING. I WANT MY ACHIEVEMENTS, AND MY GAME HAS BEEN CONTAMINATED MANY TIMES BY FREAKS WHO CANNOT PLAY THE GAME WITHOUT SPAWNING FRIGGING UFOS.

Summary: Saints row 2 is a decent game with many key features like activities that make it really great and fun. The graphics are simply atrocious, but that does not take away from gameplay. the controls are kind of annoying, but you can change them and you will eventually get used to them. The multiplayer is not fun, and do not play co op with anyone other than friends, unless you have cheats enabled.

Overall, I give Saints Row 2

a 3.5

out of 5

Saturday Morning Review: Halo 3

EHHHHHHHHHHH........... yes unfortunately.... I have to review this game at some point. Now do not get me wrong, I loved this game when it first came out, I got it for christmas jumped up and down banging myself upon the head with the xbox controller screaming for five hours until I decided to put the game in and try it out. I played through the campaign blind, because the hype and excitement was so amazingly high that I was just mindlessly killing things. Now I have beaten the game, and decided to try the legendary mode. about 60 hours of tears and bleeding fingers later I had beaten the campaign on legendary, gotten all of the skulls, and started to play on multiplayer. I love the legendary ending, because instead of the regular 117 dead ending, you get him nearing a distant mysterious planet in a ship. Woohoo! we are going to milk this series for all it is worth! Umm... wait I think they said that after they made halo 1..... but.... anyway. Yeah, then I started to play through forge, and I do have to say, forge is pretty fun, except for the fact that now that I have little big planet I could give a crap about forge. Now there is one decent thing about this game, and that is the multiplayer. It is pretty much your average death match game with a bunch of weapons and ranks, which is fun. It gets old pretty fast though, especially because of the fact that the only audience that play this game are 8 year old retards that think they are cool because they cuss into the microphone. Now there are teens and adults who play this game, but the adults do not talk and the teens are all wiggers and fratboys. I really hate this game now, so I give it a 2.0 out of 5.

I just have found more fun things to do, like cleaning the house... or banging my head against a brick wall.

Night Review: Little Big Planet

Hello everyone, this is part 2 of my weekend review, and tonight I will be reviewing: Little Big Planet. Don't know? LBP is a PS3 exclusive game created by Mm and Sony Entertainment saying that we all have a creative part in our mind just waiting to burst out in happy rainbows of unnecessary obstacles color, and some destruction, or as I like to say, it is a game where we wait for lifeless people to burst out their endless months of creativity for us to play, instead of us actually wasting our time making a level.

Campaign: Now, this game does not have much of a story-line, there are different scenarios, such as the garden, metropolis, and the Island, three of maybe about 8 scenarios. Your goal is to do whatever the people told you do, and collect as many orbs and prizes as you can around the side scrolling mario-type game. Your character, sackboy, starts out as a dull brown sackboy with no customization until YOU progress through the game, and get some new clothing for the character. I simply loved that part of the game, because I myself like customization options, and they are pretty much endless. For example, I made a green sackboy wearing a ninja mask, and a formal suit with a frying pan in his hand and black boots.

Controls: For the PS3, the controls seem to fit (I am usually a hardcore XBOX 360 gamer) and just LBP and and the Killzone 2 demo are going to make me want to switch to ps3. for example, you use right analog stick, x to jump, and R2 and L2 to control your arms. you use R1 to grab onto something, and use the gamepad (the arrows on the ps3, don't know what it is called) to change your facial expression, and square to open up your poppit.

Building Your Own Map: It is kind of annoying, because before you can actually make a decent map, if you even have a good idea for one, you have to go through about maybe 20 tutorials, and you have probably forgotten almost everything by the time your at the last tutorial. And for me, it seems difficult to think up an idea for a map, because I keep on trying to compare it with amazing maps and it makes me want to quit because those people play too much, and there is no way I will be able to construct my idea as well as they did, so I kinda stay away from building my own map and just look at other peoples maps.

Online/multiplayer: This part of the game is very entertaining, and I can see why you could play this game with your family or friends (if you have the money to spend 54 fricking dollars on 3 sixaxis controllers), because you all work as a team to get some of the special prizes in the levels, and you all are playing and just having fun.


In conclusion, you definately do not want to miss little big planet. Its online connection is slow, but worth it, the campaign is fun and challenging, the cuztomization is cool and a nice feature, customizing your house is cool, the controls are great, the building your own map feature is hard though, but the possibilities are endless.

I give Little Big Planet.....
a 5.0 out of 5.

First Review: Mario Kart Wii

Hello, friends and strangers this is Scholan, and I am going to do a review on Mario Kart: Double da...... I mean umm.... Mario Kart DS.... umm... oh that is right, Mario Kart Wii. Now I have not played this game enough to be extremely good, but I do know one thing: It is EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE OTHER ONES!! Literally, they are all the same. this one is double dash mixed with DS with a few more maps and characters, and lets not forget... bikes... woohoo. That is it! is there any other additions? No... unless you count skrewing up battle mode, and online play as an addition. Now I do have some positive things to say about this game, the wii wheel was a cool thing to have while playing the game, and it is a fun game to play while having a party, or just hanging out with your friends or family, but other than that, it is just another series nintendo is milking and milking until people finally realize that it is just the same fricking thing. I really have a suggestion to Nintendo to improve Mario Kart: STORYLINE. Please, just add a storyline like diddy kong racing, that would make me play the game for more than 2 hours before turning off my wii, and going to my xbox 360 or Playstation 3. And add a create a track option so you don't get murdered by ps3's upcoming racing title "Modnation Racers". Not that it matters, because after ps3's eyetoy addon, and Project Natal, Wii is going to be killed completely.

Oh yeah, there is online play. Let me sum it up for you. You are decent at this game, so you go to online play and get owned by aisians and europeans who play this game every single day of their life.

In conclusion, Mario Kart Wii is a fun game, and you should buy it if you like buying $50 expansions to mario kart double dash.

Mario Kart gets a 3.0 out of 5. Next review: Little Big Planet